Adolescence is not just an age range, it is our society's right of passage. The way in which it is navigated, sets the individual up for an adulthood of respect, happiness and success or one of constant struggle, using repetitive grasps for short-term pleasure as a replacement for internal happiness and long-term fulfillment.

Internal happiness and contentment come from a sense of self-love and self-respect. The adolescent years are a time when those qualities are tested, questioned and reformed. Healthy self-esteem is one of the most important traits that an adolescent or young adult can have, but self-esteem is lacking in so many of the individuals I meet today. It is also one of the most important things on which I focus when working with a young person. The transformation is amazing when an individual gets a sense of who they truly are and discovers that they are important and of great value. I work closely and collaboratively with parents to help create a supportive alliance that nourishes budding self-esteem and I help facilitate better communication and connection.

Lack of healthy self-esteem leads to acting-out behaviors such as disrespecting others (particularly authority figures), breaking rules, cutting classes and getting into fights. It also leads to acting-in behaviors such as sadness, depression, low motivation/achievement, self harm behaviors (i.e. cutting) and suicidal thoughts. An adolescent and young adult who is lacking self-esteem is much more likely to get involved with drug use, struggle with an eating disorder and/or get involved in an unhealthy relationship, which may include dating violence.

The social skill that an adolescent or young adult is struggling to learn is how to find the balance between finding his or her identity within a group and creating his or her own identity as a separate individual. This skill in itself is quite difficult to learn, but then add the pressures of school, family life and peer groups and it is almost unmanageable. After confusion, there is clarity. Sometimes an adolescent or young adult needs a caring and confidential relationship outside of his or her family and social circle to explore the complexities of his or her life and find his or her own direction toward internal and lasting happiness.